How do we conceive of the fact that whole swaths of society are still grappling with a stress event so severe that our hair fell out? … That hundreds of thousands of people are still dealing with the effects of a virus that, in its acute form, turns the body on itself — and soContinue reading “The Shiny Season”
Tag Archives: depression
Have Yourself A Merry Little September
I find my nephew’s emotional sensitivity endearing and moving, especially as I get to experience it alongside his joy and humor. When we describe kids as being constantly carefree and light, we not only erase important aspects of their humanity, we also set an impossible standard for ourselves as we get older.
On Birds, Bad Days, and Paying Attention
I lay in bed covered by my weighted blanket, trying desperately not to scream or start sobbing. My brain was churning itself into a mental illness smoothie: panic mixed with depression mixed with ADHD overwhelm. It had been one of those days. I sliced my finger open trying to cut bread. I found out thatContinue reading “On Birds, Bad Days, and Paying Attention”
Healing is Hard Part 2: Doing The Work
“You’re doing the work.” My therapist said this to me recently. I’ve heard this from therapists before. It’s a phrase that’s both flattering and irritating in its vagueness. What is “the work?” Why am I doing it? And how long do I have to keep it up?
The Cardinal And The Storm
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: References to chronic illness, self-harm, and depression/anxiety. I’m lying on the couch listening to the icy February rain slide down my living room window. Dizzy, nauseated, and suffering from a severe migraine, I can’t concentrate on anything other than its excruciating pain. It feels like ice picks digging behind my eye sockets combinedContinue reading “The Cardinal And The Storm”
Breaking Is Easy. Healing is Harder.
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Reproductive justice issues including miscarriage and stillbirth and abortion rights, COVID-19, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, anxiety, depression, and thoughts of self-harm. “Just tighten your shoulders..just clench your jaw ’til you frown. Just don’t let go ’cause you may drown.” Rent, book by Jonathan Larson. The skylight in the living room ofContinue reading “Breaking Is Easy. Healing is Harder.”
The Long Pause
But the main reason I struggled to write lately is I finally realized one of my fatal flaws as a writer: I’m overly fond of a neat ending. I love to put a bow on things. I love a pithy last line. And the story I’m in, that we’re all in, will not enjoy a neat ending.